I have completed my requirements and graduation is tomorrow. As this long awaited moment approaches, I am feeling a kaleidoscope of emotions: relief, regret, exuberance, and gratitude.
I am relieved because I am finally done. I survived my Research Methodologies class and even though I may have made my first B, I am glad it is done. It is the only class I have taken as part of my Master's program that I did not feel will benefit me in some way in the future. I learned a lot about the research process, but I do not ever want to conduct or write a real research paper. I am looking forward to having some spare time without homework looming in the back of my mind.
I am a little sad because I love taking classes and do not know what to do next. I looked in to the PhD program, but that would in fact require the above mentioned research paper and I do not want the Dr. prefix bad enough to do that. I would like to take other classes, learn more, and possibly become eligible to teach dual credit classes, but most of the classes I would consider or fit within my certification are not offered online. However, if I don't find something else to take in the fall, I have to start paying back my student loans and that makes me even more depressed!
I am, of course, excited about graduating and finally having that evidence of learning in my hand. This accomplishment is not something I take lightly and realize I am the first in my family to achieve this type of degree. I am also moving on to a dream job in a library next year which would not be possible without this certification and degree.
I am also feeling very thankful. There are so many people who have helped push me to work on this and I have taken some time to write a few thank you cards to hand out tomorrow. My first thanks would have to go to my family and students for putting up with my, "I can't do that, I have homework" excuses for the past four years. I would also have to thank the high school librarian for pushing me and assuring me I would make a great librarian even if the positions were hard to come by. I would have never dared believe I would have gotten a job like this without her faith in me. Then there are the administrators who not only believed I could and should complete my Masters, but who took a chance on me when I transitioned from an office secretary to an alternative certification teacher. There were also plenty of co-workers and friends who all recommended alt cert and the Master's program and believed I could accomplish this goal. I appreciate their support and faith in me.
I have learned so much over the past few years and consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world. I work for a great district with amazing people and have been given unbelievable opportunities to grow as an educator and a professional. I will miss my high school kids but trust they will be in good hands next year and I am looking forward to working at a new job on a new campus.
For now, I am going to focus on my graduation and celebrate it. I still refuse to think about the student's graduation that is coming up in a couple of weeks. I am not yet ready to let them go.
Note: In my last post, I mentioned how and why I turned down the librarian spot I have now decided to take. I am just going to say, a girl has to reserve the right to change her mind. My kids are still a higher priority, but I realized there will always be a reason to stay where I am and I can love them and annoy them with my hovering from one campus over. I am satisfied my robotics kids will be loved by their new teacher and I will still have the opportunity to watch them compete and shine. It is hard to go, but I have faith it will all work out for the best.
